Prior to April 2019, I had never been on the inside of a jail.
My dear friend has been in jail ministry for over a decade. She and her husband love people where they are as women and men process life behind bars, with limits and without freedom. They listens as inmates talk about their struggles, and tell them that God has not forgotten them and that we all have fallen short of the glory of God, but He offers us grace beyond measure.
When I was asked to share my music and parts of my testimony, I followed the call. I signed up to take a training class one Saturday morning in March so that I would be allowed to go into the jail, then prepared as best as I could to share with the women, still unsure of what I’d encounter. Would I be afraid? What exactly would I say? How do my hard times compare to their current state? So, I prayed and the Holy Spirit urged me: “Tell them they are not forgotten.”
We arrived and checked in at the visitation area of the jail, showed our identification, then I opened my keyboard to show that I wasn’t some rascal trying to smuggle something into the jail. One door shut behind us and locked prior to opening another door on the other side of the holding area, then we were escorted by a guard to the chapel.
The chapel in the jail is a very small room, with seating for 16 people. I set up my keyboard as my friend prepared for the ladies’ graduation day, as it was the last day of an “Experiencing God” Bible study.
The small group of women entered the door, led by a guard, and found a place in the pews after saying hello to the ladies there who had led the study. They were all dressed alike in their one piece, striped outfits. I watched as they treasured receiving a completion certificate, hair ties, a bar of nice smelling soap, a new toothbrush, and a journal, then were able to have their bundle of pencils sharpened.
I was introduced to this small group and said hello, and one woman spoke up and said, “It’s really nice of you to want to come to sing for us…our families don’t even want to come see us.” I withheld my tears from the very beginning!
I shared pieces of my own story, of how God had stripped away my comforts and familiarities, not completely unlike theirs. I sang and shared scripture verses and talked over and over about how God had been my sustenance in a pit when the Enemy was holding me down. And then I shared the victory that I had found, knowing and tasting and seeing that God was the ONLY one who knows my heart, the ugly parts and the broken parts, and was the only one who knew how to mold and mend me back together.
As I shared, several of the women shared their testimonies of how they had gotten to where they were, their own brokenness, and the hope they had found clinging to the words of scripture. Several spoke of family members who had abandoned them, and how much they regretted putting their families through what they had done. A couple spoke of their children, how they missed them, and how they were not sure when they would see them again.
I had the privilege to look each of the ladies in the eye and tell them, “God told me to tell you that you are not forgotten. You all are daughters of the Most High King!”
Afterwards we shared cupcakes and coffee, and they were open about sharing struggles from within the jail, the harshness and the darkness that they face. The atmosphere was almost one wherein we all forgot where we actually were, until the guards came to take them back to their reality, and we returned to ours.
I had the privilege and the honor to return just last week. A new group of women! I was so eager with anticipation this time! The group was smaller, but the stories are all similar.
This time, God had given me a vision and comparison to share with them. I love to find things on clearance, and have often purchased clearance items at T.J.Maxx and stores as such. When the maker creates an item, there is a suggested retail price. After a time of not selling the item, a store employee will drop the price of an item, making it more appealing to the buyer, devaluing it. If the item hasn’t sold, the employee continues to drop the price until it looks “appealing enough” to buy.
God, our maker, says our suggested retail price is priceless, paid for by His son. Purchased by His blood! The world tries to “clearance” our worth, devaluing us with labels and pointing out our sins and flaws, covering over the price given by our Maker. Though the clearance stickers pile up, the suggested retail price is still there under the layers. Our most important identity and worth is found in being a child of God - a label that the world cannot take away or cover up.
What a humbling, exhilarating experience to know that God had chosen to use me to tell His daughters that they are valuable and loved by the Creator of the Universe, known most intimately by their Savior and Redeemer, and forgiven with grace on top of grace. To look straight at these ladies, whom many in the society have discounted, and tell them that they matter…what a confident joy to share!
I share all of this to point to Jesus, and to maybe encourage one of you who read this to think about speaking life and joy to those discounted by society. Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith. We all fall short of the glory of God. We all struggle, and come upon rough times, and have our own story of God’s faithfulness and deliverance in our lives. Though the details may look different, when it all comes down to the basics, we all have the same, basic story….we are all sinners in need of a Savior.
And, in case you need to hear it today- you were bought with a price, and no clearance price tag can diminish the worth given to you by Your maker.