The Loveliness of Loneliness

Lonely. This word has described my writing journey and stay-at-home mom journey on more than one occasion. 

Prior to the fall of 2017, I was greatly an extrovert. I looked forward to being in groups, to share and listen to others, and found great energy in that. “By myself” was not often a space for which I looked.

After my recent turning point in life, I found myself longing to be alone - no pretending like I was okay and no energy boost to be found - I just wanted to be at home, by myself.  I needed space.  

That space was not empty, however.  It was room for me to pour out my heart to Jesus. To be tearful without explaining why, to be okay without explaining why, to cling tightly moment by moment without explaining why to anyone else, without justifying my feelings or my doubts or my being okay.

Lately, though, loneliness has been a looming, difficult word. I long to share the nuggets and bits of wisdom God has placed on my heart while doing laundry or walking in my wooded sanctuary, but no one is here. On days when I’ve had space to write, whether a notion or a song, I must find joy in that moment of expressing my heart to God. Sometimes I ask my kids or husband if they’d like to hear…sometimes they are kind and say they would like to hear or read what I’ve created, and sometimes I don’t ask. It’s an interesting space.  At times I get teary about it. And then, sometimes a cashier at the grocery store gets a whole testimony about God’s presence in my day and the lesson I’ve learned!

Recently a friend came to my home for lunch and asked me how I fill my day at home when kids are gone.  She works full time and was curious to know what it would be like to have the day at home. My response almost surprised my brain. “Laundry, dishes, cleaning, planning meals, organizing schedules, and then space to create.”  The space to create surprised me, coming out of my mouth, and I suddenly realized the gift of space and time in that moment. 

In Andrew Peterson’s Adorning the Dark, he describes a time when he was in high school riding his scooter down the road, and noticed the beauty of the sunset over the bright green rows of soybeans at a farm off the road. He sat down in the midst of the soybeans with pen in hand and began to write furiously about the beauty he was witnessing. He writes, “I was wonderfully alone, and yet the air was charged with a strange light that suggested anything but aloneness….The loneliness of the dark field was a prerequisite for the company I felt.” (p. 36 & 38) 

You hit the nail on the head, Andrew Peterson. You don’t often hear people talk about loneliness. It’s often admitting a weakness or need, but in this passage, he describes being “wonderfully alone” and describes it as “a prerequisite for the company I felt.”

I have known that it is a gift to be able to work in my home, to be available to my kids, and to have empty space in which to write about what God is revealing to me; however, never before reading this passage from Andrew Peterson have I considered the loveliness of my loneliness.  (Loveliness is a word not often attributed to loneliness, right?!) God continues to teach me new things, and it’s only because of the prerequisite of loneliness that I have been gifted with a lack of distraction and an abundance of space to hear, be aware, and be attentive to the Spirit. 

One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Zephaniah 3:17:

The Lord your God is in your midst,

 a mighty one who will save;

he will rejoice over you with gladness;

   he will quiet you by his love;

he will exult over you with loud singing.

Not only is God in my midst, He seeks to save, He rejoices over me (shares my victories and rejoices over me, His creation), He quiets my thoughts with His love, and He sings over me!  What a beautiful thought!  

And so, I have re-evaluated my loneliness. Maybe my loneliness is the Enemy convincing me that no one can be trusted with my fragile heart or my vulnerability, or that no one cares about what happens in my home when everyone is away. Or, maybe my loneliness is my own sinful need for validation from others. I don’t think validation is a bad thing, but when the need for it brings grief, that’s when it has been placed as a higher priority than it needs to be. In His refining fire, the Holy Spirit gently reminds me I am beloved and valued by the King of kings and Lord of lords, and that’s enough. 

The Lord my God, the King of Kings, is in my midst and invites me into an awareness of His Presence! A royal invitation to change the perspective of my loneliness into a space of loveliness.

The Loveliness of Loneliness © Shannan Miller, January 15, 2020

In the loveliness of loneliness, I know You are with me, For it is there that I commune with you and I can hear you speak. As I lay my thoughts before You, You help me call to mind The ways You have been faithful all my life.

And You invite me into an awareness of Your midst. Beautiful and Holy, Father, Savior, and my friend. So, boldly I approach Your throne of grace with confidence As You pull me in.

In the solace of Your nearness is where my soul finds its rest. The silence is not empty: You renew my righteousness. And You tell me I belong with You, as You belong with me. The blood of Christ is making me complete.

And You invite me into an awareness of Your midst. Beautiful and Holy, Father, Savior, and my friend. So, boldly I approach Your throne of grace with confidence As You pull me in.

(Go get Adorning the Dark by Andrew Peterson. Seriously. I just finished it last night, and I may reread it immediately.)

Passion for Your Presence - A New Song for 2020

My friend Donna used to make loads of rice crispy treats for our youth group when we gathered at the Good home to play Rook and “hang out” as teenagers. It was always a highlight of a Sunday evening for me! I have not seen Donna in years, but we are Facebook friends, so I keep up with her.

On December 3, I received a video link with a message from Donna:

This is a great sermon. At about 46 minutes into it I heard…Shannan has a song for this…I don’t begin to know what that means but I’m praying for you to be used mightily for the glory of God.

I was speechless, to say the least, and tears filled my eyes immediately with humble praise: “God, you love me so much that You gave a word to someone else to deliver in Your Name, so I wouldn’t mistake that it was from You!” AND “What is Your word for me in this?”

I found a quiet day soon after to devote to listening and note-taking, and I asked God to be very clear about His purpose in this.

Donna was right - it was a really good sermon, entitled, “Go Back and Get It” by Dharius Daniels (link attached at the end). In the sermon, He reminds us of how Satan comes as a thief to steal, like a pick-pocket, and you may not even realize he has stolen something from you. He includes the story in 2 Samuel 6 of David and his men bringing the Ark of the Covenant back to Jerusalem. As the sermon was ending, with only a few minutes left, he added these three points:

1. Overcome apathy (“I know you’re tired of fighting.”)

2. Overcome unbelief (“I didn’t even know that my massive disappointment had tamed my faith.”)

3. Overcome the opinions of observers (“People are going to have an opinion about your passion.”)

BOOM. That was it. God told me where I was, when I didn’t even realize that was where I was - Satan had pick-pocketed my faith and the weight of the Presence of God. I was tired of fighting and my disappointments had driven my (weakening) faith - “domesticated,” as he called it.

So, for a new year, I prayed about that sermon and wrote a prayer in the form of a song (lyrics below). It took me until today to finish it, and I wrestled with it several times. I believe, however, that God gave me the finishing touches today for a reason - this new year.

Passion for Your Presence - copyright Shannan Miller - January 1, 2020

Verse 1

Give me a passion for Your Presence. Give me a fervor for Your favor, Let me be overwhelmed and spilling over.

‘Til my lips can’t contain and voice can’t hold words driven by Your grace.

Chorus

Let me feel the weight of Your Presence moving me to speak of Your goodness.
Let me hear the voice of Your Spirit, give me words to say.
Let me see with eyes of your Kingdom, show me how to walk in Your freedom.
Be my Strength and Truth, and let me follow hard after You.

Verse 2

Don’t let my disappointments tame me; don’t let obstacles in my way try and break me. Push me from behind, God, I know that you’ll sustain me.

‘Til my lips can’t contain and voice can’t hold words driven by Your grace.

(Chorus)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIT3gWZrLEg&t=2867s

Wait For It....

This year, my youngest son really wanted a particular NERF Rival gun for Christmas.  When he was showing it to me back in October, I told him he should think about other things - it would be an extravagant gift (at least extravagant for our budget!). 

After our conversation, he decided that he was going to earn enough money to buy it for himself. His brother helped him research on several websites for the best price, and he narrowed it down to the least expensive, new item on eBay. With a goal price set, he began asking us for jobs to complete for payment, so that he could earn enough money for this gun. 

In the meantime, Brian and I reviewed Christmas lists, and of course our youngest’s NERF gun was at the top of his! He hadn’t asked for much of anything else, so we decided that we (Santa) could get this extravagant gift for him. He had no idea that we had already purchased it and it was hiding in the house when he was asking for jobs and working diligently to edge closer and closer to his goal!

One day as he was working for payment, the Holy Spirit recalled this scripture to my heart and mind. Jesus taught the crowds (Matthew 7:9-11):

Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! 

In that moment, I saw myself. I am the worker, too - thinking and planning for a goal. People have asked me, “What is your goal with your music? Are you hoping to just write? Are you wanting to do concerts and be on the radio?” The answer is always, “As God makes a place for my feet, I’ll take the next step ahead.”  I usually don’t know what the next step entails until it is placed before my feet. God has positioned me in a place where I am completely navigating waters I don’t know, so I have no choice but to trust Him! What I do know is that my goal is to bring glory to God, to magnify His name.

And, God is my wise, loving Father.  He already sees where this is all going to end. He sees what good gifts that He has for me and this ministry He has given to me. 

I have already experienced good gifts along the way - what a gift it is to tell people not to give up, that they may be pressed, but are not crushed; to tell people that their worth is not determined by what others think of them, but determined by the name given to them by the King of kings; to tell them the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.  

When Habakkuk approached God with his questions, God answered (Habakkuk 2:3),

For the revelation awaits an appointed time: it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay.

So in the meantime, God is securing my heart and exposing idols that I allow to speak louder than His voice. My faith and trust are being built in Him as I ask Him what I can “work” to do to get closer to the goal at the appointed time.  He has a perfect plan for that time.  What better than to be used by Almighty God to tell of His Holiness?  That’s my ultimate goal.  How it plays out? I’ll have to wait for that.

Time Hops - What Hell Meant to Break Me Has Failed...

I really enjoy Facebook time hops. They remind me of times when my children were little, and of trials of which I am now on “this” side. Just Saturday, the time hop that appeared on Facebook from November 2017 was:

Uncharted waters...new hopes, new possibilities, and a new chapter in my life story. For whatever reason I've been given these songs to write, may they be ones of life and hope-may they be prayers for those who don't have enough strength to muster their own (as psalms and songs are often for me) or may they be strength giving words of rejoicing in worship to our God who redeemed us as His own. For whatever reason - may they be used in glory to the Father who makes all things new, even me.

In November 2017, I was in the midst of a valley, a valley in which I had never encountered at the depth that it sank. God had so much to teach me, and Satan came in close to use that time to break me down.

These times were fresh yesterday with the time hop being on my mind still, and as our worship pastor preached about how our worship is a weapon against the enemy, who works to deceitfully bring us down. As he spoke, I remembered my own struggles for several months two years ago. On those days when I had no other words, I prayed the Psalms and sang songs that would pray for me. Sometimes I couldn’t even sing, I just played and prayed the words in my head and heart.

I was not familiar with “Victory is Yours” by Bethel Music, so when I read the (new to me) lyrics to the second verse as they appeared on the screen at church, I was overcome with the weight of where I had been and where I am now.

“What Hell meant to break me has failed…”

The time hop, the sermon, and these words….overcome with God’s faithfulness and how He broke me to dust to rebuild me, and Satan tried to scatter the dust and tell me I wasn’t worthy of rebuilding. I had no idea the idols I was holding in my heart before God stripped them away by singling me out into a wilderness I had never known.

I was once bound by what others thought of me, words of “What would people think of you if they knew________about you.” (Fill in the blank!) Growing up, it was embarrassment over my big hands and feet. it was being bigger than my twin sister, which led me to be 118 pounds in a 5’10'“ frame, playing basketball and volleyball with only a peanut M&M and a cup of tea to sustain me for some days. I worked hard to earn academic honors and athletic honors and musical honors and class president and FCA president….not realizing that I had placed my worth and value into receiving accolades for those things. So, people would see me as a smart person, a hard worker, a good athlete, a good pianist and singer, a Christian - I would feel worthy of being recognized.

When I was a worship leader, I enjoyed the title - I felt like that title spoke to who I was: a musician and someone who loves Jesus. Those are both very true, but I had no idea the pride that I placed in that title until it was no longer my title. I was also bound to what others thought of me in this title: do I work hard enough, do I sing well enough, do I include others well enough, do I do new things enough….enough, enough, enough - am I good enough for God to use me?

God revealed this idol of what others think of me through the valley - really toward the end of the valley. He allowed close friends to become distant, He allowed me to struggle with my identity. People knew I was broken, but they didn’t know what to say, so most people said nothing at all. I could hardly go out of my house for fear of breaking down in tears at a moment’s notice. I had no choice but to find my identity in Him - and He changed my perspective.

As well, in this brokenness, Satan was after me. Whispers of disgrace, of not being good enough to write new music, of not being good enough to be used by God, of not being good enough to be checked on by close friends. “Not worthy, no one cares, you have issues you should hide or people will see your weakness.” At the same time, the Enemy was tearing my marriage apart. I couldn’t stop crying, couldn’t find comfort in my husband and best friend, and our lack of relationship and my emotional “frazzledness” had our kids asking me if we were getting a divorce. (Praise GOD we stuck it out - and we have a stronger marriage now than before! take that, Satan!)

…now nothing will silence my praise”

The next lyric is “now nothing will silence my praise.” Oh, the richness and the depth of my security in Jesus now. My perspective is so different - I am so different. “He walks with me and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own.” Every second. I can hear Him…I can hear Him sing over me in love. My worship is free and unhindered by thoughts of what others think of me - I dance in His freedom and my heart is steady with His love for me! (Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a sinner in need of His saving grace every single day.) I also don’t place (as many) unrealistic expectations on my Brian… because Jesus is my everything, he doesn’t have to hold that position! (Again, I haven’t mastered this, but it is SO much better!)

AND..God has given me words and music and an avenue to share His goodness, His breaking of my chains, His forgiveness and wholeness, and His hope to others who find themselves in a valley. HIS, HIS, HIS in place of am I enough, enough, enough!

At the end of this year, I will have had 24 opportunities in different venues and different groups of people wherein I was able to share a testimony and/or a song! Had I been in the same place 2 years ago, I would not have had the time. Just as Jabez prayed, God has blessed me and enlarged my territory, and I didn’t even ask for it! (mine, however, was not without harm nor was it free from pain!).

“Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request. 1 Chronicles 4:10-12 

So, I tell of His goodness. I am more aware of testing the spirits to discern whether or not God is leading or Satan is breaking down and stirring up trouble. I am stronger and have a wider foundation beneath my feet, and an open handed trust (most days) in the Holy Spirit’s leading. I fight with a different confidence, knowing more and more of what Satan meant for harm in those days, God turned for good! All blessing and honor and glory be God’s - forevermore!

“Now nothing will silence my praise!”

Experiencing God in Jail

Prior to April 2019, I had never been on the inside of a jail.

My dear friend has been in jail ministry for over a decade. She and her husband love people where they are as women and men process life behind bars, with limits and without freedom. They listens as inmates talk about their struggles, and tell them that God has not forgotten them and that we all have fallen short of the glory of God, but He offers us grace beyond measure.

When I was asked to share my music and parts of my testimony, I followed the call. I signed up to take a training class one Saturday morning in March so that I would be allowed to go into the jail, then prepared as best as I could to share with the women, still unsure of what I’d encounter. Would I be afraid? What exactly would I say? How do my hard times compare to their current state? So, I prayed and the Holy Spirit urged me: “Tell them they are not forgotten.”

We arrived and checked in at the visitation area of the jail, showed our identification, then I opened my keyboard to show that I wasn’t some rascal trying to smuggle something into the jail. One door shut behind us and locked prior to opening another door on the other side of the holding area, then we were escorted by a guard to the chapel.

The chapel in the jail is a very small room, with seating for 16 people. I set up my keyboard as my friend prepared for the ladies’ graduation day, as it was the last day of an “Experiencing God” Bible study.

The small group of women entered the door, led by a guard, and found a place in the pews after saying hello to the ladies there who had led the study. They were all dressed alike in their one piece, striped outfits. I watched as they treasured receiving a completion certificate, hair ties, a bar of nice smelling soap, a new toothbrush, and a journal, then were able to have their bundle of pencils sharpened.

I was introduced to this small group and said hello, and one woman spoke up and said, “It’s really nice of you to want to come to sing for us…our families don’t even want to come see us.” I withheld my tears from the very beginning!

I shared pieces of my own story, of how God had stripped away my comforts and familiarities, not completely unlike theirs. I sang and shared scripture verses and talked over and over about how God had been my sustenance in a pit when the Enemy was holding me down. And then I shared the victory that I had found, knowing and tasting and seeing that God was the ONLY one who knows my heart, the ugly parts and the broken parts, and was the only one who knew how to mold and mend me back together.

As I shared, several of the women shared their testimonies of how they had gotten to where they were, their own brokenness, and the hope they had found clinging to the words of scripture. Several spoke of family members who had abandoned them, and how much they regretted putting their families through what they had done. A couple spoke of their children, how they missed them, and how they were not sure when they would see them again.

I had the privilege to look each of the ladies in the eye and tell them, “God told me to tell you that you are not forgotten. You all are daughters of the Most High King!”

Afterwards we shared cupcakes and coffee, and they were open about sharing struggles from within the jail, the harshness and the darkness that they face. The atmosphere was almost one wherein we all forgot where we actually were, until the guards came to take them back to their reality, and we returned to ours.

I had the privilege and the honor to return just last week. A new group of women! I was so eager with anticipation this time! The group was smaller, but the stories are all similar.

This time, God had given me a vision and comparison to share with them. I love to find things on clearance, and have often purchased clearance items at T.J.Maxx and stores as such. When the maker creates an item, there is a suggested retail price. After a time of not selling the item, a store employee will drop the price of an item, making it more appealing to the buyer, devaluing it. If the item hasn’t sold, the employee continues to drop the price until it looks “appealing enough” to buy.

God, our maker, says our suggested retail price is priceless, paid for by His son. Purchased by His blood! The world tries to “clearance” our worth, devaluing us with labels and pointing out our sins and flaws, covering over the price given by our Maker. Though the clearance stickers pile up, the suggested retail price is still there under the layers. Our most important identity and worth is found in being a child of God - a label that the world cannot take away or cover up.

What a humbling, exhilarating experience to know that God had chosen to use me to tell His daughters that they are valuable and loved by the Creator of the Universe, known most intimately by their Savior and Redeemer, and forgiven with grace on top of grace. To look straight at these ladies, whom many in the society have discounted, and tell them that they matter…what a confident joy to share!

I share all of this to point to Jesus, and to maybe encourage one of you who read this to think about speaking life and joy to those discounted by society. Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith. We all fall short of the glory of God. We all struggle, and come upon rough times, and have our own story of God’s faithfulness and deliverance in our lives. Though the details may look different, when it all comes down to the basics, we all have the same, basic story….we are all sinners in need of a Savior.

And, in case you need to hear it today- you were bought with a price, and no clearance price tag can diminish the worth given to you by Your maker.

Tell Your Story, child of God....

…no matter how messy, no matter how broken, no matter how amazing, no matter how humbling: tell your story.

Last night I had the privilege and honor of sharing a short testimony and a couple of my songs at the Abortion Alternatives and Crisis Pregnancy Center’s first fundraising banquet in Abingdon.

the keynote speaker shared her testimony of deliverance from her own chains of aborting a baby as a teenager, how God had redeemed her, and how Satan for so many years had bound her in guilt and shame. She shared that every time she shared her testimony, women come to share their story with her, and she can point them to the redemption and freedom found in the forgiveness of Jesus! Because she shares her story, others find freedom, too!

After the banquet was over, a woman who had been sitting at a table in front of the stage stopped me to speak to me about my music, specifically telling me that she really liked “Child of God.” I don't often go straight into a song story, but last night I did (because that’s how God orchestrates things!). I shared with her how I had stepped away from a worship leader position that I had loved and known so long, and that one day as I sat crying, grieving over what I thought at the time was a lost piece of me, I asked God, “Who am I now, if I’m not a worship leader?” I told her how quickly the Holy Spirit answered, “You are mine,” and how God has shown me that being His child and knowing my identity in Him is the greatest, most significant title I could ever hold.

As I spoke to her, her face changed, and she began to cry. She said in astonishment, “That’s my story.” She began to share with me that she had loved leading music and worship, but because of her health, she had to step away. She asked God the same question, “Who am I now?” Because of sharing my story, I was able to tell her (with tears running down my face, of course!) that God says, “You are mine!” I was able to hug her and tell her that she was precious in His sight, and that being a child of God is the most significant title that she could have.

What a privilege to be used by the King of Kings to speak peace into a grieving heart!

So, I tell this story to tell you: tell your story, friends. Your story could be the Holy Spirit speaking peace in someone’s storm, hope in someone’s desperation, or freedom in someone’s bondage! Tell your story.

(In case you need a reminder of who God says you are: Child of God….. Listen to "Child of God"

Words to Worship By - "In the Spirit and in Truth"

When something stirs in my heart for a time, a long time, it’s a stirring of speaking out. I have tested the spirits (1 John 4:1), and I am prompted to speak….

We worship a Triune God who is the creator of the heavens and the earth, through Him and to him all things were made. Our creator, redeemer, and sustainer, gifter of our gifts, whose ways we cannot comprehend, whose thoughts outnumber the grains of sand.

How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— Psalm 139:17-18

Jesus offers to us a picture of what true worship should be:

Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.” John 4:23-24 

Brothers and sisters, Worship cannot be reduced to what happens within an hour on a Sunday morning - that’s just a small piece. Our worship should be defined within the scope of our lives, as living sacrifices.

Jesus, however, does not say how this is to be done.

Can we worship God with a band - with new, fresh words from a humble heart who loves Jesus? YES - in the Spirit and in truth!

Can we worship God with a mighty organ, a full choir, and hearts singing in four part harmonies so beautifully that the roof may lift off the building? YES - in the Spirit and in truth!

Can we worship God in creating art that is honoring and glorifying to Him, that draws attention beyond a moment? YES - in the Spirit and in truth!

Can we dance before the Lord in boldness or gracefulness? Yes - in the Spirit and in Truth!

Can we write beautiful poetry, proclaiming God’s faithfulness, words painted on a page? YES - in the Spirit and in truth!

Can we tell stories of God’s faithfulness in our own lives? YES - in the Spirit and in truth!

Can we craft prayer blankets for those who are sick or lonely or grieving, in worship to God? YES - in the Spirit and in truth!

Can we help a neighbor fix a roof, or paint a house, or cut down a fallen tree in their yard? YES - in the Spirit and in truth!

Can we create a meal for someone who needs an extra hand? YES - in the Spirit and in truth!

All of these are worship unto the Lord! They are all sacrifices of praise to God who became flesh, dwelt among us, and reconciled us, making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

In Exodus 35, Moses assembles the entire Israelite community for materials for the Tabernacle, and tells them,

[God] has filled them with skill to do all kinds of work as engravers, designers, embroiderers in blue, purple and scarlet yarn and fine linen, and weavers—all of them skilled workers and designers. - Exodus 35:35

“HE HAS FILLED THEM”….I won’t list the entire 35 verses, but all of the different skills that God gifted unto His people are more than I could have listed! HOW BEAUTIFUL!

Please, let’s not pigeonhole God’s amazing artistry and creation into a single category, claiming that worship has to look like this or that, or say that one skill is more important than another. Jesus said it has to look like “in the Spirit and truth.” Through all of these gifts, and the working of these gifts, in truth and in the Spirit, are we not all pointing to Jesus? Isn’t that our aim?

If each of us will step back and be willing, God will change our hearts and minds, renewing them to be conformed more into His. He will give us eyes to see and ears to hear, if we ask Him and are open to new ways of seeing His goodness. I know…He’s broadened my scope of His beauty.

Not all will come to know Christ through the same path... Some things will not be our preference, but may impact another in a deeply meaningful way. That is good! it’s not competition, it’s not threatening, it’s not to be feared - it’s diverse and beautiful.

When we worship God in the Spirit and in truth, we can appreciate God’s immeasurable creativity and proclaim, “God, you’ve amazed me in a new way!” He will open our eyes to the beauty of His thoughts and His creativity, and show us new ways that we can be amazed at His goodness and His grace.

"Grace Exchange" with CS Lewis, Anne, and Ross Wilson

Last week, God gifted me with an opportunity to attend the SING! 2019 conference in Nashville, TN. (When I say, “God gifted,” I literally mean, Brian’s grandmother mentioned to her church members one week before the conference that I had spoken about how much they would enjoy that conference and I would like to go sometime. The next day, they invited me to go in the place of one who had just said she could not go - hotel and conference already paid. A gift!). Not only did I enjoy my new friends, but I highly enjoyed singing hymns acapella in the acoustics of the Grand Ole Opry. The harmonies were so full and rich!

However, the singing at the SING! conference was not my greatest takeaway! It was found in a 45 minute breakout session entitled, “Christianity, Art, and Culture” with an Irish artist and sculptor named Ross Wilson - (http://rosswilsonartist.com.). Writing as fiercely as possible, I tried to capture so many great quotes that he shared:

“Art is a reflection of God’s creativity, and evidence that we are made in the image of God.” —Francis Schaeffer

“Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.” - Simone Weil

“Tradition is the democracy of the dead.” GK Chesterton

Rosse Wilson:

“Draw attention beyond the moment.”

“The love of Christ permeates every spectrum of life.”

“Knowledge has been reduced to information.”

“God doesn’t want something from us, He wants us.”

All of these are worth contemplation and application, but the story of CS Lewis, a 10-year-old named Anne, and “The Searcher” is one that has stuck with me.

Ross Wilson discovered that CS Lewis had written a letter to a young girl in response to a letter she had sent him. She had been reading The Silver Chair and asked her mother about Aslan having to give up his life for the life of others, as she didn’t understand. Her mother told her to write the author and asked, so she did! In what Ross Wilson calls a moment of “grace exchange,” CS Lewis replied to her letter. He took 10-15 minutes to answer the letter of a young girl. When the girl received the response from Lewis, she was awestruck and humbled and her life was changed!

Wilson found the young girl many years later and she showed the letter to him. It was worn, as she had carried it in her pocket everyday for two years after she received it. That letter had changed her life and brought her to faith in Jesus, as Lewis clearly explained the comparison between Aslan and Jesus. What an exchange of grace that Lewis took time to answer the inquiry of a little girl!

Wilson was impacted by this story, and to commemorate Lewis, created “The Searcher,” which can be found in a square in Belfast. On the back of the wardrobe, Anne’s response from CS Lewis is cast in metal and shown for all to view. Lovely. https://www.bing.com/maps?q=The+Searcher+in+belfast&go=Search&qs=n&form=QBRE&sp=-1&pq=the+searcher+in+belfast&sc=0-23&sk=&cvid=DBCCD2D7185C42C8AAF79579B290743C

I confess that my “grace exchange” is so often crowded out by my own self focus - what I have to do, what I have to get finished, where I have to go, who has hurt me. In Paul’s letter to the church in Ephesus, he writes,

“I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. (1:17-19a)”

The Enemy loves to turn us inward and keep our focus on ourselves, but in moments of the Spirit’s grace exchange, He offers to me His wisdom and revelation, and enlightens the eyes of my heart to those around me - so much more beautiful!

And so, for you and for me, I pray that the eyes of our hearts will be opened to draw our attention beyond the moment, so that the love of Christ may permeate every spectrum of our lives. We never know when a simple moment of grace exchange will be the difference.